Yesterday afternoon I arrived to Sibenik with too many things, props and equipment from the filming. Yes, we're done. All 100 episodes have been filmed and I can't wait for the editing phase to continue after the New Year.
For all my Croatian readers, you can sneak peek the Christmas episode on HRTi before it hits the air and HERE is the link. I can't wait to hear you comments! <3
There are so many things I'm looking forward to, I can't even count them all.
But the point is, I've never been happier. Never in my entire life.
Some people around me don't seem to understand it but I have absolutely no intention to apologize for my own happiness. It took me years to find it. A bloody lifetime, to be exact.
While I was brainstorming ideas for this post (with myself, naturally), I found myself feeling a bit weird about publishing a new post after a few weeks of absence. So many things have changed, big big things, and I had no idea how to return to this blog again with all that's going on in my head. But this has always been my 'safe' place (no matter how public it actually is) and the only proper way to continue this ongoing adventure is to keep writing the best way that I can.
There are so many things I want to share with you.
So many amazing things I want to scream about.
But not yet.
I wish I could put down in words everything that has happened over the last three months but there is no right way to do it. It's too overwhelming and we'll take it one step at a time - there will be behind the scenes from the filming and all the changes that have happened in my life as well - work, and non work related.
Christmas is almost here and I don't actually feel a thing.
Mostly it's because this year I've been completely dedicated to the filming and had no proper connection with the real world for months so now I feel a bit lost. There are scented candles and lots of Christmas tunes instead of a big tree and loads of decorations but there are also many new people in my life, festive lunches and dinners in the place where I feel like home (even though it isn't) and travels I'm looking forward to.
The road to self-discovery is a long and tricky one. Sometimes you'll end up in places and situations that will make you feel like that is it, like that's what your life should look like, like that's what you're happy with. But many many times we do that to ourselves out of fear. Screw the comfort zone, screw it.
Fight for what you believe in. For your dreams.
That amazing, insane, crazy and overwhelming love that makes you do crazy things.
Don't be scared.
Don't burden yourself with what someone might say. This is your life and do everything your way.
And then one night you'll find yourself walking down the hotel corridor, and the sound of Cohen's 'Dance me to end of love' will pierce the walls. You'll get the text from the awesome new friend who says there's a bottle of wine and a plate full of cookies behind the reception for you and even though you know things will never be easy in this profession and you'll never have safety in life, you'll feel so incredibly blessed and beyond happy.
Never stop fighting for those moments.
Life is magical if you allow it to be.